On Sunday, I decided to go to church. It had been a while since I attended, I had nothing else to do and I needed a sign from god.

But instead of finding a sign, I found white Jesus plastered on the center monitor at a Black church.

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Now you may be asking yourself, what’s wrong with that? White Jesus has been the standard for centuries. Well, I hate to be that kid in elementary school who ruins the idea of Santa Clause, but SPOILER ALERT: Jesus wasn’t white.

The iconic image of a white Jesus is propaganda created by an oppressor to promote the idea of white superiority. So to have that image in my place of worship, knowing the historical significance behind its purpose, was insulting.

I was also surprised. Surprised that my Black pastor did not realize that by superposing the image of a white Jesus on the center monitor, he was contributing to the propagation of white supremacy. I was sad. Sad that a predominately Black congregation was being force-fed the image of a white man, worshiping him, unknowingly toasting to the erosion of their self-esteem. And I was offended. Offended that more than a century post slavery, the Black community continues to propagate a lie that was intended to keep us in bondage.

And then I remembered. I remembered why (in general) Black churches are unappealing to me. It’s the mentality of its people. Organized religion in the Black community is Uncle Tom’s favorite vehicle for keeping Black people mentally enslaved. Too many Black preachers tell us nothing is in our control and to wait on Jesus. They tell us suffering is good, to embrace it, because the end goal is dying and going to the promise land.

Next week, I think I’ll try going to a white church. At least there, they’ll have enough self-respect to worship a god they made in their image.